Saturday, May 01, 2004

 

Seriously?

So I decide I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and compose this blog.

What else do I have going on? My post-graduation routine consists mostly of me waking up in the afternoon, scanning the web and newspapers for job leads, and showering only when the need arises. And rarely, my friend, does the need arise. My sweat pants have become my closest companion.

I've had a few interviews, but none of these jobs actually interest me. The interview process itself makes me queasy. They ask you this ridiculous strand of questions, thereby assembling some incomplete model of your personality. Every time I answer one of said questions, I feel a little corner of my soul crumbling to bits, BECAUSE I'M LYING. I'm patronizing you, Mr. Stick-Up-His-Ass-Human-Resources-Coordinator. No, I cannot think of ten reasons why I would make a valuable asset to your team, because in all likelihood, I'm going to end up peeing in your coffee cup if you hire me and I have to put up with your incessant use of team-building exercises. How about this? I'll give you an itemized list of the reasons why you shouldn't wear that tie, and we can call it even? Then you will be blown away by my tact and intellect, and instantaneously promote me to the position of Vice President. My first act will be firing you, you tacky bastard.

I'm still writing. Never fear. My portfolio is growing, so hopefully some freelance writing will pop up.

And I hope you noticed that my name was taken when I tried to register this blog. Yeah, by some nine-year-old who is apparently using this site to invite people to her birthday party. How about this, Caroline Boyd 2, I'll be your friend if you let me have your blog name? C'mon, I'm older! Dammit...

I hope this little girl enjoys the attention of my thousands of male admirers who mistakenly hit on her.

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